My Idea for a New Book

Since June, I’ve been talking about venturing into a new genre with my writing. All three of my books were memoirs even when I promoted them as fiction based on my life events. These books I had promised myself and closest friends I would write. Now that they are completed, it’s time to move on.

August of 2017, I wrote a post based on an actual event from my short career as a mortician. It got plenty of positive feedback and a few requests for additional stories. Through the years, many friends were fascinated when I would share some of the incidents and encounters while in the funeral industry. Many are humorous and some heartbreaking.

In 2001 there was a popular HBO series called Six Feet Under. I watched it not only for the subject matter but the soap opera drama too. Each episode either shocked, humored, or repulsed us. But we kept coming back each week. It was great entertainment and exceptional screenwriting.

Have you guessed yet the storyline of my new book? Yep—another storyline about the funeral industry. As with Six Feet Under, it centers around a family owned and operated the funeral home. As did the TV series, there is an outside storyline alongside the episodes within the funeral home. The intent is to entertain as well as educate you about an industry you can’t avoid.

I haven’t finished the original draft, and I don’t anticipate the book’s release until sometime in 2019. Below is a selection of the opening chapter. I would love to hear your comments and suggestions.

 

 

 

“Life does not cease to be funny when people die

 any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

 – George Bernard Shaw

 

 

I’m sitting on the podium of the First Baptist Church of Snyder, Texas about to receive the “Man of the Year” award from the Chamber of Commerce, the City of Snyder and Scurry County. I’ve been practicing my acceptance speech all week, yet I’m scared I’ll make a fool of myself. To make things worse, I sweated through my shirt before I got to the church. If that wasn’t enough, I got to pee.

I still can’t figure out why they selected me, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It will be good for business. Maybe I’ll be able to put the competition out of business finally. I’ve tried everything I know, yet they somehow keep their doors open.

I’ve listened to the Mayor, the president of the Chamber and now one of the County Commissioners is speaking. “Bla—Bla—Bla.” They are all long-winded, and no one gives a shit what they are saying. Anyone that is here came either out of obligation or for the free lunch afterward. I come every year because if I don’t, someone might notice and that it will be bad for business. Besides, lunch is always good.

Can we just get this over with? Couldn’t they find anyone else to give their stupid award to? Whoops, I better smile. He mentioned my name.

* * *

Wait a minute—I had better start at the beginning. There is a history to share, and I’ve got a few stories to tell. If y’all don’t know the beginning, it won’t make any sense. Just be patient, I’ll get to the good stuff in a little bit.

My name is Charles Thomas Yarborough, Jr. People call me Charlie. I hate Charles, and I hate Chas or Chuck worse. When I was growing up, I was Junior. That wasn’t so bad because I loved my dad and I was proud to be named after him. Everyone in town looked up to him. He was respected and a real leader in this town.

Snyder, what can I say about Snyder. It’s an old ‘has been’ town in West Texas. If you know where Abilene is, Snyder is about 80 miles Northwest of Abilene. Abilene is the largest city in the area, and it isn’t all that big, about a hundred and twenty thousand. Last year the Chamber of Commerce published a piece stating Snyder was twelve thousand. I think that’s inflated. If they include all of Scurry County, we might have ten thousand.

I was born at Cogdell Memorial Hospital in April of 1960 to Annette and Charles Yarborough. While I think about it, we are not related to the Yarboroughs that were pioneers and politicians in Texas. My grandfather Thomas Yarborough came to West Texas and Snyder before World War II and before the oil boom in 1949. He was the youngest of three children and was the only one who moved here from the Ozarks of Missouri. Not a lot of family history back in Missouri, but Dad made us well known and respectable family in Snyder. Dad didn’t like going back to Missouri. He always said that part of the family were hicks.

During World War II, dad like so many young men joined the Army. He was assigned to what they called ‘Graves’ unit. He was behind the front lines first in France then on to Germany. ‘Graves’ were trained morticians by the Army and handled the thousands of causalities during the war. Dad didn’t want to talk about those horrible days, but he did to me when I got older.

Dad like me was an only child. When the oil boom played out in the area, my granddad went to work at a cotton gin factory. Granddad retired after I was born and died when I was twelve. Grandma had died two years earlier.

* * *

In 1946, when Dad returned, he went to work for the only funeral home in Snyder. It was owned by the Smith family. The State Board of Embalmers accepted his experience in the Army and allowed him to work as a licensed embalmer. Dad never went to mortuary school. In fact, he never completed high school.

He never married until 1958 when he married my mom Annette Smith, the daughter of the owner of the funeral home. In 1962 after my mom’s father died, Dad took over the business. None of the surviving Smith family were interested in the company, and they allowed my dad to take ownership. In 1970, Dad incorporated the company and changed the name to Yarborough and Son Funeral Home, Inc.