What I Learned

It’s now been fifteen months since I lost my husband. There were so many times I didn’t know how I would overcome my grief. What I learned was I have an instinct to survive and more inner strength than I realized. What I quickly learned was to use my friends when things got tough.

I’ve said it, you might have too, “If you need anything, let me know.” Or, “Call me if I can help.” When people said these things to me, I didn’t take them seriously. Oh yeah, they’re saying this to be polite. When after having a series of dark days, I picked up the phone and called one of my friends. I learned they were serious and gladly came to my rescue.

Sometimes all I needed was to have a conversation with someone other than my cat. Other times I needed companionship to get out of the house. I learned friends delight in helping. They didn’t know what to say or how to help. All they needed was for me to ask.

I got through that period of helplessness and indecisiveness. I learned grief wasn’t something I got over; I learned to live with it. I learned that grief brought meaning to my life and the ability to smile at the memories.

If when that someday comes you lose that special person in your life, remember me. Remember when everything seems out-of-balance, your emotional strength will put the world back into perspective. Life as you knew it changes, but you can accept it. Rely on your inner instinct and don’t forget your friends. This is a life journey we all make, but you will learn things about yourself you didn’t know before.

I didn’t forget about my writing, although I have been neglectful of my blog post. A friend introduced me to a writer’s critique group. After my first meeting, I agreed to join them if they would take on the project of my re-writing, One Month, Twenty Days, and a Wake-Up. The group took on the challenge. If the pandemic hadn’t occurred, we would be close to finishing.

Our group has several rules and they are all meant to help each of us to overcome our writing flaws. We state when someone critiques your work, don’t defend it. Listen to the individual and take what information is useful and ignore the rest. You are the author and you have the final say.

With the “Stay at Home” rule here in Florida, I have used the time to finish the rewrite. I have a friend reviewing it before I send it to an editor. My goal is to self-publish it as either a revision or second edition. If I’m not mistaken, there is a difference. I’m open to advice or someone’s experience.

The goal of the rewrite was to correct the poor writing of the original book. Mistakenly, I didn’t use an editor. Big mistake. Several of my reviews and low stars on Amazon mentioned the obvious lack of editing. Reviewers also mentioned other weaknesses of the story.

The revision/new edition cut areas that didn’t enhance the narrative and expanded those that were insufficient. The book centers on the protagonist four years in the Air Force during the 1960s. The story tells of his entering and surviving Special Forces training and subsequent deployment to Vietnam.

I’ve decided I would not change the title. I believe the title is catchy and most Vietnam Veterans remember the catchphrase. But I am toying to change the cover. Don’t be timid about giving me your opinion.

I plan on a future post to include pre-launch marketing. I’m planning on taking some areas of the original and then sharing the changes. Perhaps it will draw some attention.

If you have been a previous follower of my blog post or a WordPress author that has promoted my writing, I apologize for my absence. I hope to take my future post in several directions. I want to continue to share my world as it changes. More importantly, I want to contribute to helping other writers with the knowledge I have gained and avoid the mistakes I have made.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.