My Heritage

I believe every individual has an inherent desire to belong to and be accepted by groups and especially family. When we are, it is easier to be content with our lives. Without it, we start questioning our self-acceptance. I was told as a child I was worthless, and it damaged my self-esteem and left me with psychological scars.

I wrote in Guilt – My Companion, “As a child, I always knew my parents had adopted me. In my periods of darkness where I retreated into a world of fantasy, I dreamt my real parents would come to rescue me. They would take me away from my pain and give me the love I sought. It never happened.

As an adult, I was envious of my friends when I listened to them describe their happy childhood, siblings, and parental relationships. I avoided discussing my history. It was painful, and I thought no one would believe me. What never changed for years into my adult life was my debilitating desire to please my parents. I still believed someday they would accept me and love me. That never happened either.”

In 1985 I made the decision I wanted to know my identity and my birth family. Unlike most people, I had no idea of my heritage and nationality. I had been adopted at the age of fourteen months. I also knew I had a younger brother (Don) who was adopted to a separate family at birth. My adoptive parents used the military’s legal services, the papers were signed by the individual parties. Beyond that, I do not know if my parents knew any more of my heritage.

The story finding my natural mother and eventual brother is an interesting story that I reveal in my book. I’ll summarize by saying when I found my birth mother, she revealed when she was a small child, she and her older brother were placed in an orphanage and eventually adopted by separate families. Although the siblings did reunite, they never found their birth family. This still left a mystery of our family heritage. I was fortunate to spend ten years with my mother before her death.

Perhaps my brother was more inquisitive than me, but two years ago he had his DNA tested. Our mother stated we had the same father but looking at us we have little similarity. He has an olive complexion, dark hair (now grey), and different facial features. I’m fair skin, blonde hair (now mostly grey), and smaller built than him. If it weren’t that we both have the same woman listed on our birth certificates, you would question whether we are related at all.

What is surprising to us and people who know us separately, state how similar our personalities are. I have always thought, personalities are formed more from our environmental exposure rather than hereditary. In our case, we have more personality similarities than physical.

He used Ancestry’s DNA testing system. I don’t have the percentages, but the order of high probability was East Asia, Scandinavia, Polynesia, Ireland/Scotland/Wales, Iberian Peninsula. His daughter was tested, and East Asia and Polynesian were also dominate. Now that we know the results, it is easy to see especially the Polynesian influence in their facial features.

My brother encouraged me to have my DNA tested and finally a few weeks ago I did. Remembering my mother’s early pictures and mine, it is evidence of our similarities. Yet, I was surprised when I got the results. I would never have thought my dominant heritage would have been as it indicated. The results were:

Great Britain 48%; Scandinavia 19%; Ireland/Scotland/Wales 16%; Western Europe 7%; Southern Europe 8%; Iberian Peninsula 1%; Finland/Northwest Russia <1%

In reading the backup material Ancestry provided, I found a commonality of Celtic influence in all of these areas. Perhaps that is where my blonde hair and the light eyes come from. The Scandinavian does not surprise me, but I would have never guessed the large percentage of Great Britain.

My birth mother did inquire about her origin and was able to find some records that showed her paternal family name was Avery and maternal Hall. Since both names are of English descent, it helps validate the DNA results. My niece did extensive searches and she found some linkage to the Huntsinger and Avery names. Ironically, it was the Huntsinger family that was involved with my adoption and also in helping me discover my natural mother.

This validates my maternal side, but what about my paternal? I have always been hesitant about inquiring into my paternal side. My birth mother gave me a name of the individual she said was my father. She also said my brother and I had the same father. The DNA shows differently. My opinion has been if I was to contact someone from my father’s family and he never told anyone he had other children, it might ruin their memory of him. Validating the paternal side at this point is not that important to take the risk.

Now after all these years, a new awareness of myself has been opened. Where it leads me, if it leads me anywhere, is an option available. What it has done already is give me some validation of heritage. At present, I’m satisfied with this status.

Have you done a DNA test to investigate your heritage? Leave me a comment and tell us how it made you feel and if you did anything with the information.

Feature Image: Nature Photography by Urmo Parts