Using Editing Software

In November 2017, I posted a blog on using editing software. https://chuckjacksonknowme.com/2017/11/25/do-you-use-editing-software/

I complained that my second book (What Did I Do?) was selling while my first (One Month, 20 Days, and a Wake UP) was. I revealed that with the first, I hadn’t used an editor. I had received negative reviews. Rather than send the book to an editor, I tried using editing software, specifically ProWritingAid.

Fast forward to 2019, where I joined a writer’s critique group. I was hesitant to join, but told the group, if they helped me rewrite my first book, I would join. Not only did the group agree, but they challenged me to finish the rewrite using their input.

When I joined the group, we would average four or five attendees. We could go over a chapter in two meetings. As months passed, the group expanded to where we had over ten individuals come. To allow everyone to present their material, we had to shorten our pages we shared to four or five. Now it was taking me two or more months to complete a chapter.

March 2020, due to the Covid-19 virus, we had to suspend our meetings. We had completed eight of the seventeen chapters. Using the input from the first eight chapters the group finished, I continued the rewrite and have now completed the manuscript.

What I also did was use the ProWritingAid software to check my work more. I decided I would give you a before and after example of the rewritten manuscript and using the editing software, what it highlighted.

Example of original with highlighted corrections:

From the beginning, I hated working at the dental clinic. The first dentist I worked with, Dr. Goldsmith, was right out of dental school. Dr. Goldsmith hated the military and resented having to work in this small clinic.
Dr. Goldsmith was always in a foul mood. If I did not give him the exact instruments he wanted, he would throw it on the floor. I would replace the instrument. Instead of telling me what he wanted, he would continue to throw the instruments until I got it right.
After putting up with this for weeks, I decided I was not going to put up with it any longer. I did not care if I got into trouble. Dr. Goldsmith was going to stop throwing instruments or get another assistant. The next day, Dr. Goldsmith had thrown at least five or six instruments. He put out his hand expecting me to hand him another one. I did not respond. Dr. Goldsmith said, “Where in the hell is my carver?”
I said, “I don’t have any more; you threw them all on the floor.”
I got up and left the room. I could hear Dr. Goldsmith screaming, “Airman Johnson, get your ass back in here.”
After finishing his patient, Dr. Goldsmith went straight to Sergeant McInnis, my supervisor. Sgt. McInnis called me in to explain my actions. I told Sergeant McInnis about Dr. Goldsmith throwing instruments. Sergeant McInnis chuckled, “I wondered how long you were going to last. You are the fourth assistant he has had in eight months. I will go talk to the Colonel again about his behavior. For now, let him work by himself.” I was reassigned to work in the dental surgery area.

Example of the rewrite :

Working in the dental clinic didn’t change my adversity for being a dental assistant. The first dentist I worked with, Dr. Goldsmith, hated being in the military as much as I loathed being an assistant. Dr. Goldsmith was always in a foul mood, and if I mistakenly handed him the wrong instrument, he would throw it on the floor. Instead of telling me what he wanted, he would continue to throw the instruments until I got it right.

After putting up with this for weeks, I decided to not tolerate it further.

I don’t give a shit if I get into trouble, I’m not tolerating his tantrums any longer. He can get someone else to assist him.

One day after Dr. Goldsmith had thrown at least five or six instruments, he put out his hand expecting me to give him another one. When he didn’t get any response from me, he said, “Where in the hell’s my carver?”

Dr. Goldsmith looked up from his work and gave me a piercing look. I returned the stare and said, “I don’t have any more; you threw them all on the floor.”

As I left the room, Dr. Goldsmith’s voice echoed down the hallway. “Airman Dugan, get your ass back in here.” I ignored his screams and continued going to the break room.

After he finished with the patient, Dr. Goldsmith went straight to Sergeant McInnis, my supervisor. When called into Sergeant McInnis office, he asked, “Dr. Goldsmith was in my office complaining about you. You want to tell me what happened?”

With anger still boiling, my legs were shaking and my heart pounding.

Oh my God, I’ve done it now. You, dumb shit.

After explaining about Dr. Goldsmith throwing the instruments, Sergeant McInnis smiled. “I wondered how long you would last. You are the fourth assistant he has had in eight months. I’ll go talk with the Colonel again about his behavior. For now, let him work by himself.”

* * *

With these examples of before and after, the corrections don’t change the detail of the story. It is an example of poor and improved writing. I wish the group would have completed the project with me. But we don’t know how much longer it will be before there is control over the virus, and it will be safe to meet again. Meanwhile, I will send the second edition to my editor. Stay tuned for more announcements and discussions on the book.

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