Negative Reviews — cont.
I want to continue the discussion on the importance of having your manuscript edited by a professional. Reviewers of your work, especially those who have no invested friendship, can and will be brutally honest. You should value their input even when you don’t agree with their opinion.
In my case, some of the reviewers took issue with the accuracy of the events I depicted. Even when the book was classified as fiction based on actual events, the individuals felt it should be factual.
Example:
“A lot of inaccuracies aside from what … pointed out. There are many Special Forces guys who would take issue with classifying PJ’s as Special Forces. SF is technically reserved for counter insurgents known as Green Berets. A more apt term for PJ’s would be Special Operations where they were assigned specifically to in Vietnam…”
I agree with this reviewer the Air Force classified PJs as “Special Operations” Combat Controllers were part of the Air Force’s Special Operations. They trained at some of the same Special Forces training schools as Pararescue. During Vietnam, Combat Controllers were identified by the blue beret they wore. The 37th ARRS depicted was a squadron assigned under Air Combat Command 23rd Air Force Headquarters.
Example:
“Sort of short, can’t really decide if it’s a love story or a war story. Very little action, minimal training descriptions, and a number of errors (i.e. “…buck sergeant (5-5)…”. It’s “okay” if you’ve read everything else…”
“A short read. To much personal information, I was expecting to read more about operations in theater than dating and personal issues.”
I also agree with both reviewer’s assessment. With the second edition, I cut much of the storyline about my relationship with my wife before and after our marriage. I replaced it with more detail on the PJ training and missions in Vietnam.
Example:
“…And unless one looked closely, the reader may have missed the fact that this was a work of fiction. On whose experience(s) did the author base this rendition of a PJ’s tour in Vietnam? When I read fiction, I am usually looking for some literary qualities in the prose, such as pacing, theme(s), narrative arc, character development, a fine turn of phrase. Non-fiction, on the other hand, can be less high-falutin’ if the reader can have confidence in the authenticity of the author’s experiences…”
With this reviewer, he felt if it was a fictional recount, it should have read more like one. If it was nonfictional, then the author was responsible for its accuracy. I would agree with the reviewer if the book were a history text. Even with books that their genre is classified as Nonfiction Historical such as Beneath A Scarlet Sky, Mark Sullivan wrote, “Though based on a true story and real characters, this is a work of fiction and of the author’s imagination.”
With the second edition, in the front matter, I tried to define the contents of the book clearly. “I changed individual names, some locations, and certain identifying details to protect the anonymity of the people depicted. I also changed the space and time to enhance the book. This story is mine and mine alone, as seen through my eyes and memory.”
* * *
When I started the rewrite process with the group, I had decided to eliminate the introduction. I felt it didn’t enhance the opening and grab the reader as much as I wanted. When I presented the beginning of the book to the writer’s critique group, they sharply disagreed. Most said it was good but needed cutting of some areas and enhancing others. See if you agree with how we changed it.
Original:
Introduction
Have you ever looked at a blank piece of paper or computer screen and imagined, if written, what the words would say? I am not talking about the grocery list, the email to a friend, the memo to your boss, or the reminder you leave on the kitchen counter. I am talking about words about yourself, your emotions, your experiences, and the individuals in your life.
Imagine you are going to take one small portion of your life and write about it. What if it was something you had harbored because much of it was too horrible or too revealing to discuss, let alone write about? How would you begin and what would you say?
I am going to take you, my reader, into the blank pages and fill it with four years of a man’s life. These are years he would have just as soon forgotten, at least some of them. They are years that took him from immaturity, immersed him into the reality of adulthood, and forced him to make decisions he was ill equipped to make. They were years that shattered humanity, or what he thought was humane. Those years included chasing an ambition when achieved was to provide the self-esteem lacking in his life.
I want you to take a ride into those blank pages that will now be filled with words that portray those experiences, emotions, and the individuals who changed him. Much of those blank pages will be filled with experiences, until now were hidden so well, he forgot much of the details. These details include the horrors of an indefensible war. This was a war where the commanders were required to put their troops into reckless jeopardy to satisfy the political ambition of a few. This was a war where the heroes returned home in dishonor and shame, a price many heroes paid for with their lives because of the careless disregard for human life.
This man felt honor that he served. However, he, like so many who served with him in Vietnam, kept this honor suppressed. You might ask, why reveal all of this now. Did our political leadership learn their lesson from Vietnam? Just give a thought to the lives lost and put in jeopardy in Iraq and Afghanistan. The difference is, our men and women of these wars, when they returned, were acknowledged and honored. Due to the Middle East wars, awareness of the Vietnam Veteran has been raised and the transgressions of the past are attempting to be absolved. Stories similar to the one filling these blank pages are being acknowledged and revered.
This writing, as well as most writing, must start somewhere. We will begin at a place that is critical to this man and his story. The author hopes the blank pages as they are filled, bring purpose, validity, and honor to those portrayed in the writings.
Revised:
Introduction
Have you ever looked at a blank piece of paper or computer screen and imagined, if you wrote them, what the words would say? What if the text was about yourself, and the people from your life? What if it was something you concealed because it was horrible or too revealing to discuss, let alone write about? How would you begin, and what would you say?
For anyone who reads this, the text will fill the blank pages with four years of my life, a period I wanted to forget. They were years that took me from immaturity, immersed me into the reality of adulthood, and forced me to make decisions I was ill-equipped to make. A time when the military shattered my perception of humanity while I chased an ambition solely to overcome my low self-esteem.
I fill these pages with experiences, emotions, and the individuals who changed me. The pages will contain details of the horrors of an indefensible war. It describes where commanders put men’s lives into reckless jeopardy, because of their disregard for human life. Because of this many paid the ultimate sacrifice.
When I returned from Vietnam, I felt the honor that I’d served. But, like so many Vietnam Veterans, I kept my honor suppressed. I kept those memories hidden until I shared my story that fills the pages of this book. My reason for writing my story now is to bring purpose, validity, and honor to those individuals I served with and who I portray in my writings.
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