What I Learned

It’s now been fifteen months since I lost my husband. There were so many times I didn’t know how I would overcome my grief. What I learned was I have an instinct to survive and more inner strength than I realized. What I quickly learned was to use my friends when things got tough.

I’ve said it, you might have too, “If you need anything, let me know.” Or, “Call me if I can help.” When people said these things to me, I didn’t take them seriously. Oh yeah, they’re saying this to be polite. When after having a series of dark days, I picked up the phone and called one of my friends. I learned they were serious and gladly came to my rescue.

Sometimes all I needed was to have a conversation with someone other than my cat. Other times I needed companionship to get out of the house. I learned friends delight in helping. They didn’t know what to say or how to help. All they needed was for me to ask.

I got through that period of helplessness and indecisiveness. I learned grief wasn’t something I got over; I learned to live with it. I learned that grief brought meaning to my life and the ability to smile at the memories.

If when that someday comes you lose that special person in your life, remember me. Remember when everything seems out-of-balance, your emotional strength will put the world back into perspective. Life as you knew it changes, but you can accept it. Rely on your inner instinct and don’t forget your friends. This is a life journey we all make, but you will learn things about yourself you didn’t know before.